Тhe six signs of suicide you might not think are signs

Not clearing out the loft, not a charity shop run. The specific, meaningful things. The watch, the iPad, the car. The things they would never normally part with, handed to someone with a reason attached that does not quite hold up.

Giving away prized possessions is one of the most consistently recognised warning signs across clinical guidance. The Zero Suicide Alliance lists it under getting affairs in order, alongside making a will and making arrangements for family members or pets to be taken care of. It is often described as a way of preparing for an absence.

The reason it slips past us is that the person usually frames it as generosity. They are having a clear out. They thought you would like it. They know you have always loved it. And you are touched, so you say thank you, and you put it on the shelf.

If someone gives you something that matters to them, and there is no obvious reason why, that is a moment to slow down and ask a question.

Showering less, the same clothes for days, the bathroom cabinet untouched.

NHS guidance on crisis, self- harm and suicide in young people lists disinterest in maintaining personal hygiene or appearance alongside poor sleep, rapid weight changes and hopelessness. Neglecting personal hygiene, skipping meals and irregular sleep are described as common signs of emotional exhaustion, where tasks that once came easily start to feel overwhelming.

This one is missed for a simple reason: it is embarrassing to mention. Nobody wants to be the person who tells a grown adult they need a wash. So, we say nothing, and we tell ourselves they are just tired, or busy, or going through a phase.

You do not have to name the hygiene, you just have to name the change. Saying that someone does not seem like themselves lately gets you into the same conversation without the shame.

Related, but not the same thing. This is the person who always cared about how they looked and suddenly does not. The haircut that stops getting booked, the clothes that stop getting ironed. In my brother’s case, he went from gelling his hair by the follicle to shaving his head entirely.

Clinical guidance on recognising suicidal behaviour notes that someone may suddenly become less concerned about their personal appearance.

We tend to read this as someone letting themselves go, and we attach a slightly judgemental story to it. Laziness, low effort. What it can actually mean is that they have stopped seeing a point in a future they will be present for.

Related, but not the same thing. This is the person who always cared about how they looked and suddenly does not. The haircut that stops getting booked, the clothes that stop getting ironed. In my brother’s case, he went from gelling his hair by the follicle to shaving his head entirely.

Clinical guidance on recognising suicidal behaviour notes that someone may suddenly become less concerned about their personal appearance.

We tend to read this as someone letting themselves go, and we attach a slightly judgemental story to it. Laziness, low effort. What it can actually mean is that they have stopped seeing a point in a future they will be present for.

The quieter cousin of number four. Not happiness exactly, stillness. The agitation stops, the restlessness stops. The person who could not sit still is suddenly settled.

A sudden sense of calm and happiness after a period of severe depression can mean that a person has made a decision. Friends and family often mistake it for recovery and think the person is finally getting better.

We are pattern seeking creatures and we badly want the pattern to be that they are through the worst of it. Sometimes it is. Sometimes what has actually lifted is not the pain, but the uncertainty about what to do with it.

This is the one almost nobody talks about, and it is the one I would most want people to understand.

It is not dramatic, it is admin. Returning things they borrowed, paying off a small debt they have owed you for years, cancelling a subscription, deleting accounts.

Making preparations, including tidying up a living space and saying goodbye to loved ones, is listed among the behavioural warning signs of suicide. Guidance describes it as putting personal affairs in order, visiting friends and family, and cleaning up a room or home.

None of them, on their own, mean anything.

Many of these behaviours have perfectly ordinary explanations. They become more concerning when they are unusual for the person, when they happen suddenly, or when they appear alongside other signs of distress.

So, I am not asking you to become a detective, I am asking you to notice change. You know what normal looks like for the people you love. When several things shift at once, and none of them quite fits the person you know, say something.

And it is worth knowing that people usually do tell us, in one way or another. Research indicates that somewhere between 50 and 75 per cent of people considering suicide give someone a warning sign.

Ask directly; Ask whether they are thinking about suicide. You will not put the idea in someone's head. What you will do is give them permission to answer honestly, possibly for the first time.

Ask twice. The first answer is very often the one they think you want.

Do not try to fix it. You are not their clinician, and you do not need to be. You need to be the person who noticed, and who stayed.

Then help them get to real support. Their GP, NHS 111, a crisis line.

There were 6,190 suicides registered in England and Wales in 2024, a rate of 11.4 deaths per 100,000 people. (Source: Office for National Statistics, Suicides in England and Wales 1981 to 2024, published October 2025)

Around three quarters of registered suicides are male, a pattern that has held since the mid 1990s.

Behind every one of those numbers is a group of people who loved someone and are now going back through the last few months, frame by frame, trying to work out what they missed.

I set up Ripple Suicide Prevention Charity because there was a moment, before we lost Josh, where the right thing appearing in front of him might have changed everything. Ripple technology exists to intercept people at that moment online, when they go looking for something harmful, and put support in front of them instead. Our browser-based protection (Ripple BrowserShield) is free to download on laptops and desktop computers for any individual, parent, guardian, school, college, university or charity worldwide.

But technology can only ever be part of it. The rest is people. It is you noticing that your mate has stopped shaving, it is you clocking that your sister has suddenly settled all her debts, it is you asking an awkward question at the school gates because something feels off.

If this article makes one person ask one question they would otherwise have swallowed, it has done its job.